Cesspool of data

There is this amazing amount of knowledge where I work.  Aforementioned engineers go around with buttloads of useful information rattling around in their skulls [such trivia as the ratio of Newtons to Kilograms = 9.80665] but when they get hit by a bus, fired, or otherwise get away from the company, they take all the good stuff with them.  So I get random assignments such as, “Find out what we have paid for every tool we have built in the last 3 years (approximately 400+ that I have found since yesterday), analyze it by type and capacity, and tell us how much we should spend on the next tools we buy.  Oh, and can you have that done tomorrow?”  

I actually enjoy this.  When I’m between assignments or bored, I make up things to do, like analyzing what percentage of registers that we are building consist of a certain material, and what the material usage trends have been over the last 5 years; then scheduling a supplier to come in and present some new wunderkind material that will make better registers.  It often involves making colorful charts and clever PowerPoint presentations so as to awe the masses.  My bosses love it, and I’m not locked into repetitive work.  I love that.

The difficult part is that each section of our business pretends to be an autonomous entity, so that data gets repeated in several places, and most times incorrectly.  I spend many frustrated hours venting at my poor PC and muttering under my breath about how certain people need their heads knocked together*.  My co-workers quickly learn to ignore my curses and imprecations.  I have, however, unlocked many deep dark secrets and can figure out how to hack into most any information necessary without having to go and ask the source.  



*(One time in my life [not work related] I actually *got to knock two heads together….it was an almost sexual feeling of release…….ahhhhhhh)