Defective Car-ma?

So, cars hate me lately. I don’t know what I did to annoy the automotive gods, but whatever it was must have been exceptional. I’m not sure exactly what kind of sacrifice is required to appease them. Mastercard does not seem to be working, nor does beating my head against the wall. I think I will try chicken blood next.

I was understandably hesitant when my daughter recently *insisted that I fix her Jeep. Seems like any vehicle I have touched in the last 6 months is going to go mysteriously kaput at the least desirable moment.

[Although, my mechanic did remind me that I turned down some repairs on my little hundred-year-old car last year….
Him: “You better sit down, this will blow your socks right off”
Me then: (skeptically) “A THOUSAND bucks to repair a $700 car? I’ll just drive the $&^%* thing until it falls apart!”
Me now: Um, last week it fell apart. Damn.]

As it turns out my Ford truck has TWO batteries. Apparently diesels require lots of something called “cold-cranking amps” (i.e. magic) which cannot be supplied by one battery, or at least one battery that does not require an engine hoist to install. Both batteries had to be replaced last week….. and those babies aren’t cheap. But let me say that was the least expensive thing I have done to one of my vehicles in the last 3 months. We’ll not go into details.

Upon looking under the hood of the Jeep, it *also has 2 batteries. Eerie coincidence? I think not. I’m convinced it is a sinister (left-handed? underhanded? redhanded?) plot subsidized by Loki. I made the mistake of purchasing the batteries by mail order….which, although saving me approximately 40% of the retail cost, took over a week to transact. During which period my daughter was having fits.

[I can appreciate this – can’t stand to be without a vehicle. I’m borrowing a cute little Chevy Corsica just now – it’s a zippy little car and I’m already growing attached, as I have given up my Pontiac for dead.]

So, I got the Jeep batteries last weekend, and installed them without difficulty. After paying my mechanic an exorbitant $65/hr to fix the Ford, I wised up and figured out that I could do *this repair on my own. Proud of myself, I even washed the car when I was done.

Michela came home from visiting a friend and I told her that her Jeep was repaired. She was thrilled and gave it a test spin to be sure. She accidentally started it out in high gear and stalled it out… she’s young, she’ll learn. It was pretty amusing – she jumped out, yanked open the hood and wiggled a battery cable, then jumped back in, cranked it over and peeled out (on my front lawn.)

In her Barbie Jeep. She is 2 ½ years old.

IT WAS SO DAMN CUTE!!!!!!!!