I am so not a connoisseur

Wikipedia: (Fr. connaisseur, from Middle-French connoistre, then connaître meaning "to be acquainted with" or "to know somebody/something.") is a person who has a great deal of knowledge about the fine arts, or an expert judge in matters of taste.

Is it a crime to be happy with less?  Take beer.  Beer is beer.  There are 3 kinds of beer as far as I'm concerned - beer in a bottle, beer in a can and beer in a cup (i.e. someone already poured it for you!)  Dark beer = icky, light beer = okay.  Actually I'd rather have a wine cooler but beer is a sufficient substitute.  I like girly drinks that taste like candy or fruit.  Get over it.  I've slugged down my share of tequila shots, kamikazes and boilermakers, but as long as I'm heading for a drunk why not enjoy the journey?

How about coffee?  I like mine with cream and sugar and just enough coffee to give it flavor. So what?  I can drink nasty vending machine coffee, I can drink fancy six-dollar lattes and espressos... I can drink fresh ground coffee pressed to perfection, I can drink the crap I percolate in the morning to wake myself up.  I can even stomach Sanka (my grandparents drank it and therefore so did I.  I've drank coffee since I was old enough to hold a cup without burning myself.  For a while I had a theory that it stunted my growth because my friend Also-Laura was not permitted to have coffee until she was 18... and she's 5'11" tall.  However... her mom would let her smoke pot too and mine wouldn't.  So that theory got chucked)

Vehicles.... a car is just a handy mobile purse.  My truck is all vinyl and plastic inside so I can just hose it out when it gets icky.  My daughter decided to decorate her side of the dashboard with colored clay one fine summer day and see.... it wasn't the end of the world, as if she had inked up leather seats or smeared catsup in the carpets.  Actually I consider it an awesome bonus that it has air conditioning!

Clothes?  Yeah, it's nice to have my a$$ covered up but I don't need $98.00 jeans to do it!  (Actually I've recently overhauled my wardrobe but what I really need is someone to tell me what style and colors are best for me.  Somehow I ended up with pants all in shades of green, brown or khaki and shirts in purples and blues.  Hmmmm)

I have a friend A_ who has another friend (we'll call her K_) who has to be surrounded with the absolute best of everything.  Friend A_ told me a story about K_ remodeling her basement and having a total fit because there was a teeny tiny discrepancy in the tile flooring and the guys couldn't come back for a couple of days to fix it.  While I can appreciate this (who doesn't love to have nice things?) I am a realist.  I can have more by having less.  There were times when I could not afford to buy Ramen noodles... but instead of overcompensating I like to believe that I have learned a lesson.

I can have land and horses because I live far away from town and in a house trailer.  I can have 2 vehicles because I drive a scabby little car and my truck is 10 years old (and I was able to pay cash for both of them!)  I can buy my daughter toys because I didn't spend my money on expensive furniture.  I'm not trying to gloat here.. believe me, there are times I want to chuck everything I have and live in a condo in the city... but I think it might kill me or drive me totally batshit.  I'm pretty darn happy that I can support myself, there are still days when I'm wowed by the fact that I've managed to live on my own for 25 years ( although not without the help of many generous friends) and I can only hope that some of these values are instilled in my child so that she can appreciate that having "things" is not as important as many people think.  Ah hell I can't remember where I was going with this.

Oh yea... the fact that certain material possessions and brand names aren't required for happiness.  Or something like that anyway.

In retrospect.. there are a few things that I am slightly spoiled about.... Oreos come to mind.  Fake Oreos SUCK.  Franco-American Spaghettios.  Accept no substitutions.